Time for a change.
This week I go back to the doctor again for a follow up appointment from last week. Thursday and Friday had to be the worst days I’ve had in years. Second time this winter I got sick. But it was a good thing because it made me finally get up and go to the doctor like I should have done for a very long time.
I was basically told a lot of things that I already figured. My body has broken down. Years of neglect and bad habits have taken their effects. I’m 33 and over 300 lbs now. My knees and ankles are constantly hurting. My blood pressure is 200/114. My stress level and eating habit have in danger of a heart attack or some form of heart failure if I don’t do something different.
I knew long before I learned about my condition that I had to do something different, but that never made me do it. I’ve had the desire, but never the motivation to make myself better. I look at pictures of people and see myself with a better body, more healthy, but I go back to indulging in things that are bad for me. Because it’s easy. It’s effortless. I don’t even have to think about it. And that’s the reason why I’m where I am now. That and stress have worked together to make me feel like an old man, and I know I shouldn’t be like this.
I have to find the inspiration to change myself for the better. I’m making a declaration to do just that, right here and right now, but I know it will be tough. I know because I’ve tried this before and I’ve failed. But I know also that I can’t fail anymore. I have to be real this time, I have to be for real…because this time I see why I have to do it. I know why I have to do it. It can be for nothing and nobody except for myself. I have to strengthen myself, empower myself and inspire myself in order to impress myself. Nobody else. Nobody should ever care about me more than me, and for years, even I didn’t care about me. That has to change. Physically, mentally, spiritually, it has to change.